GREATNESS

 

The idea of this gag came to me while walking through the Denver Zoo yesterday with my family.  There in front of me was a sign that declared with an arrow, this way to the Great Apes.  And it hit me, I wonder what makes a so-so or mediocre ape?  What makes one particular ape "Great"?  Are all apes great or did they have to do some great deed?

There is an old saying that no person is born to be a salesman, because salesmanship can be learned. so how exactly does one become born to be a great what ever.  Imagine at birth your parents are told that later on in life you will do great and wonderful things and some other parent gets the bad news that their kid is destined to go up to be so-so or just plain boring mediocre.  Truth be told 99.99% of all humanity are born to be "blah" which is exactly one step below boring, so-so, or mediocre.  

Most of our world leaders were not born to greatness and most of them have yet to become truly great.  Were Napoleon, Stalin or Hitler, born "Great"?  Can a person who ends up leading a quiet and boring life become great even though when they were born they were destined to become blah and so-so? 

In the eyes of child, their parents will seem great, but by the time they are teenagers their parents become really dorky and a true embarrassment to be around.  And yet, later on in life, when the teenagers become parents of their own teenagers, they once again understand the true greatness of their parents.

We call King Kong a great ape mostly because he was one big honking critter and could swat an airplane like a mangy little germ-coated house fly, but in King Kong's defense those pesky little bi-planes were trying to kill him, so it was actually self defense.

Most of the people we historically call great (Catherine, Alexander, Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun and Ivan The Terrible) became "Great" by killing lots of people they did not like. 

But getting back to what makes a one "Great", without killing lots and lots of people? What is a "Great  Thing"? Just because it may seem like a great thing to you, will it be a great thing to me?  

So there we have it, "Greatness" may be thrust upon you, you may or may not be born to it and "Greatness" is like beauty it is all in the eye of the beholder.

 

Gotcha!

Wives are the people who keep us old guys on the straight and narrow.
Old Gordy still thinks he is a young stud and his mate Gerty is always there to remind him he ain't as young as he once was.

Guess What?

Have you ever had someone start a conversation with a question like: "Guess What?" 
For us old guys like Gordy and me, trying to figure what is on the mind of our women folk is at time like trying to figure what it was that I ate yesterday that is not setting too well today with my plumbing.   I have even heard news reporters say this cliche and most often it is a woman who has some sort of wonderful news and thinks it should be a game of seeing how imaginitive we old guys are. 
Ladies in mine and Gordy's life, just come out and tell us your news and stop with the suspense..
To all the women in mine and old Gordy's life if we were about 50-60 years old we might be able to guess what but these days it seems for some odd reason if we say,"You gained another ten pounds or you found another wrinkle or that you found another grey hair?" It just makes you mad and you know it, so just come on out and tell us what wonderful news you have to tell us...This will keep you from getting mad at us and let us know what is new a little faster and then  we can  go back to posting something on facebook or seeing what is on Fox News and what country the USA is going to invade today.

We are Whats We is!

In life, what we choose to spend our time doing, depends most often on what we are capable of doing.
It is generally not a good idea for a vegetarian to become a hamburger flipper in some greasy spoon food joint or if one is afraid of heights to become a professional sky diver.  And if you are a Hippo, Elephant or Rhino to become a Tight Rope walker or trapeze artist.

Happy Mom's Day!

There will always be a special bond between a mother and her "Baby" no matter how old her baby becomes.  Don't question it just enjoy the fact that no matter how dorky or dumb you may feel you will always find love in your dear old mother's heart. 

The Welcome wagon should come with booze.

Have you ever moved into a new neighborhood and all the local busybodies and old farts show up to greet you to the tribe? 
Moving in is stressful enough and all of a sudden the hordes from strange people are ascending upon your home in waves like some Biblical plague of locus. 
It is one of those "It looked good on paper" type things and they were only trying to show how kind and friendly the new neighborhood was.
I have a word to the wise if I am  moving  into your neighborhood  go ahead and drop by with a good bottle of scotch or wine..and you can tell me about all the really crazy whacked out people in the new neighborhood.  Maybe we can even solve the woes of the world.

Who needs Another Love Song?

Today I am introducing Gordy, he is a very opinionated and crusty old Rhino.
Gordy and his mate Gerty have been together for many many years.  
They have had several kids over the years and now can boast of having six grand kids.
 Most days for Gordy looks around and wonders if the whole world his going to hell in a hand basket (even though Gordy has never seen a hand basket)
Gerty is like most grandma's and often says that if she had known that grand kids were so much fun she would have had them instead of those ingrates she gave birth to over the years. 
"The labor pains!! And where was that lazy bum of a mate of hers while she was giving birth?  Off attacking one of those tourist buses or posing for pictures for  those American tourists.  I swear to goodness sakes that mate of mine is going to be my death!"
If you are an old goat or old Rhino you may be able to relate to Gordy and Gerty in future blog posts.

Do you hold em?

When there is no filming going on the crew sometimes likes to get together for a nice friendly game of poker.

Writers Block

Some days I just do not feel very funny.
But on that same note there are lots of people out there who have never ever felt funny and there are also lots of others who never thought of me as being funny.

Humor depends on your view point.  If you slip on a banana peel and fall on your back that ain't funny but if you watch an actor in a movie or on Television doing the same thing you will probably wince and laugh. 
Is it Funny or just plain Silly.  That depends on how old you are and how stuffy you are.  To a child an Adult doing something silly will always bring a giggle to the kids but to another adult it will probably just bring scorn.
It is said that actors have a far easier time of it doing drama than a comedy.  Comedy depends on timing where as drama just requires reading the lines of a script in a serious tone. 
Have you ever noticed that comedians like Chevy Chase, Bill Cosby and Andy Griffith are no longer very funny like they were when they were younger?  Timing. 
I look at this comic strip blog as a sort of expansion of the comic strip it's self.  A way for me to blather and pontificate about the ills of the world as I see them.  You probably do not agree with 61.99% of what I write and if you have a complaint about my view point so be it, freedom of speech and all that stuff.
The premise of the comic strip is about a wild life movie maker and his crew.  A look at what probably happens behind the camera, if the animals can talk and are actually part of the production crew. 
I once read in a book about syndicating comic strips that a strip should have at least six characters. I think Doonesbury has about as many characters as a Tom Clancy novel.  Peanuts had about six little people and the comic strip Far Side had no characters with names. 
In my little story here there is Sam the movie maker, his three crew members ( Larry Curly and Moe) Percy the lion and his girl friend Bambi ( no relation to the deer) The giraffe's name is Larry, the elephant is Gordy and the Crocodile is Harry.  There are also lots and lots of little monkeys that add a little havoc and discontent to the regular characters.  All the animals are paid union wages and like all good actors are put into many different situations and with pride in a job well done, all do their own stunts.
You may noticed that even though the comic strip takes place in Africa, I don't have any African humans included but am working on that situation.  But the strip is about wild critters and since I have not gotten any complaints from the NAACP I guess I am still okay.

Snuggling...

 Percy the lion has a new Girl friend.  Her name is Bambi and she is hot..HOT!  They met on a Cyber Space chat room and this is their very first date.

Personally,  I think the term Snuggling is all suggestive.  Snuggling to a guy is way different from the way gals look at the term.  

Is every thing for sale?

If it moves or stands still...slap a logo on it. 
Is it me or does it seem like if anything has no corporate sponsor or some sort of logo plastered all over it?
I remember reading books like 1984, Brave New World and other books about our projected future.  Why did they not know about this part of American life?
Down in Miami they are going to start selling advertising space on public palm trees and traffic lights.  People are even renting out parts of their bodies to the highest bidder for tattoos of sponsor logos.  Amazing is the fact that just when you think you have seen it all along comes a new thing to make you think of one thing or another. 
Smart phone are now more smarter than we are and if there is some sort of thing your phone does not yet have there is an Ap for that function. 
Life...just when we get into our comfort zone and feel all good with the way things are someone comes along and pops your comfort bubble and then puts a corporate logo over it.

The Gods Must Be Crazy!

Several years ago there was a movie called, "The Gods Must Be Crazy".  Not much of a plot but just plain fun to watch.  About a little bushman who finds a Coke bottle that had be dropped out of an Air plane.  He thinks it is a gift from the Gods and takes it home to his people.  They marvel at such a thing as they have never seen before and start fighting over this new found treasure..An Empty  Coke Bottle.
It is decided that the little bushman has to take the Empty Coke Bottle to the "End of the Earth"  and throw it off the edge. 
My cartoon today is my take on one of the funniest scenes in this very funny movie.  The land rover gets stuck in the mud so the best thing to do is use the wench to pull it out.  The driver hooks the cable to a tree branch and starts the process.  He gets distracted and when he comes back to the Land Rover it has been hoisted up the tree.

Baby Showers

Have you ever gone to a party where the only person you knew was the hostess or host?
One of your co-workers is expecting a baby in a few months and her family is holding a Baby Shower for her and since you are her "Best Friend" at work they invited you.  The whole thing begins very nice and friendly and ends up like one of those, "it sounded like a good idea at the time" things.
At  work Linda is the sweetest creature God ever created but then you meet her family and you begin to wonder if she may have been adopted.

Her brother Ralph keeps eying you like some demented creature.  You find out later that Ralph lives with his parents in their basement even though he is thirty-five.  His Mother says he is quite normal and she has proof because he was tested.  He tells you that he is studying to be a computer programer by playing video games all day long and taking on-line GED classes at night.  He is unemployed because he is waiting for that career opportunity where he can express his true creativity. 
Linda's Grand Mother Gertrude, spends her days watching old videos of her younger self on Wild Kingdom.  You ask Linda if her Grand Mother is feeling okay and Linda informs you that her Grand Mother just has a bad cough.  To you the old girl sounds like a steam locomotive on it's last run up Red Mountain Pass to Silverton from Durango and you find out her Cough is from her being a chain smoker for the past 50 years. 
Linda's father seems like a nice old guy in the beginning but after a few adult beverages he starts looking at you like you may become his next meal. After awhile when he is talking to you, he tends to put his big old paws all over you  as if he is checking out for the tender parts.
In the end you tell Linda that you have a family thing to go to and leave the Baby Shower early.  And in the end you probably feel like you may have gotten out of there with you life still intact.


 

What Me Worry??

 When you work with a bunch of other people and have to do a difficult job..it is a comforting feeling, knowing your co-workers will be there when you need their extra help.

Sometimes your co-workers will get more pleasure out of watching you struggle with your difficult project than  helping you get over your difficulty.

Let's face the facts here people!  After six months on any job or career, it becomes one big bore.  If you work in a corporate office each day you come to work to find your "In Basket" that you finally finished emptying out last night, full to the brim again.  What you did yesterday..... you are going to do once again today...FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!
Is there any doubt in your mind that any diversion at your job will be a welcome break from the monotony of the daily grind?? 
There is an old saying, "  When you are up to your Ass in Alligators, it is hard to remember you originally came to drain the swamp".  In my cartoon, the fellow who is all rapped up in his work, is Sam and he is a wild life movie guy.  Sometimes he really gets involved with his work and ends up entertaining his film crew to no end.
Way back in the days of Black & White TV there was a Nature show called Wild Kingdom...One guy would always be wrestling with gators or lions and such; while the film crew and the announcer were off at a safe distance ( probably drinking coffee and making side bets on how long the poor smuck would last before help was sent in to drag off his dead remains.  The same thing happened a few years ago with the Crocodile Hunter.  The television viewer was so caught up on the action that  no one seemed to realize that there was probably another three other people behind the camera.
Co-workers usually are not your friends.  At times you may become nothing more that a side show at work to give them something to tell their real friends over a beer at the local watering hole.  Put it another way, why do we enjoy going to a NASCAR race or a Hockey game?  Why do so many people slow down when they are passing a car accident?  Because most people like to see other people in pain?  The old television show America's Favorite Home Video became popular because GUYS like to watch OTHER GUYS, getting kicked in the groin. If you are a guy and have ever been kicked or hit in the groin you know it ain't very funny.  But as Charlie Harper (Two & A Half Men) said to his brother Allan, who was stuck in a room full of screaming sea gulls..."Funny depends on what side of the door you are on."

You are such a tease!

Monkeys can be a real pain in the back side in real life but for me, anytime I can't think of a comic strip gag...just draw monkeys tormenting other animals.

If you work in an office or Cubical ville, you probably have at least one office Monkey...the person who likes to play practical jokes and torment their co-workers.  Let's face it, if everything worked out perfect in a work environment, it would truly be a boring place to work.  Who needs boring, right?

But it looked good on paper!!

My favorite business excuse:  but it looked good on paper!!  Usually the best layed plans etc etc. 
Some old Army General once said something like:" All battle plans will look successful until the bullets start flying." 
You see a bunch of little elephants playing in the high plains of the  Kalamari grass lands and you say to your self, "Self, that would make a great little video!"  And after setting up your camera and the sound guy has the sound booms up and running they just keep dancing around in pure joy.  Did you forget any thing?  Nope..Got film in the camera and the sun is in the perfect spot...What could go wrong?

NO REST FOR THE WHICKED!!

You pick out a nice quiet place for a nap in a cool place and just as you are all settle in, along comes old saggy britches Fred to take a bath.  Guess as long as Fred doesn't step on you it will be okay.