Greetings unto you old fat pig!

                              Have you ever walked into a room and forgotten why you were there?

The Fat Tax Collector.

This is just a really bad cliche "A fat tax collector" 

that most people won't realize that his name is a term that 

Arnold Schwarzenegger made famous. 

Just having some fun here folks. 

 If you can have fun drawing silly pictures 

and telling really dumb jokes

 why bother getting up in the morning?

See you all tomorrow.

I wonder if Harry Potter had this problem?

Don't you just hate it when your batteries go out at the wrong time?
Oh well I guess half an old Cheetah is better than a whole Bull Frog. 
Question of the day: where does a 800 pound African Bull Frog sit? Any where he wants to sit.
What do you call those black spots between Cheetahs toes these days?  Slow Lions.

I am sure Agnes has more batteries in her fanny pack to make things right.  Speaking of Agnes's fanny pack, next week we will do an in-depth look into that her fanny pack where she carries all her extra wands and magic do-dads etc etc.  If you think your wife has lots of stuff in her purse you ain't seen nothing yet.

Potty Break.

Have you ever noticed that some people 

will take photos of wild critters doing all sorts 

of natural nature things 

 from drinking water to dining out.  

Come on guys give them a break and a little privacy. 

 After all they ain't rich and famous 

like Pee Wee Herman or Kim Kardashian.

Just when Cheetah is thinking he is about to meet his maker, along comes Tarzan to the rescue. 

Splat!

Cheetah as an African Bull Frog is getting into his roll.  

 Apparently there is the difference between a log and a crocodile & 

sitting on a crocodile is not a good place to consume your lunch. 

Crocodiles have very little sense of humor,don't you know.

URP.....

Getting back to Tarzan and Cheetah's little problem.  Last week Tarzan's mother-in-law transformed Cheetah from an Ape to an African Bull Frog.  I am sure some time in the near future Agnes will change Cheetah back to his charming old self.  Until that time, let us explore what it is like to be a big old studly Macho bull frog in a land where other animals think of Bull frogs as lunch or dinner or breakfast or a midnight snack.

Pox to you!

Al Kabob is still a work in progress and the last two strips are what he will be looking like from now on.
Al Kabob like so many in the Middle East live in a true paradox.  Even as change is happening all around them in the outside, they want to cling onto way their ancestors have lived.  They like some things of modern times while .  Television, the internet mobile phones and military weapons seem to be okay to Arabs and yet western form of dress are looked down on. 
Just as Arabs look at American sitcoms and think that this is how America is, what we see in movies of the Middle East gives us our perceptions of Arabs.  Hopefully my little strip will bring these things out in the coming years to come.

AL KABOB THE FIRE WOOD MERCHANT

Today I am introducing a new family to this blog about Africa and will run the Al Kabob comic strip Saturday and Sunday and Old Tarzan strips Monday to Friday. 
Anyway Al Kabob is a simple fire wood merchant in a Muslim country in North Africa and since he has so many females in his family sometimes the only male companionship is his stupid donkey Hemaar (Arabic for Donkey) There will be no slander or mean spirited off color humor and hopefully even Muslims will find these gags funny.  Even though Al Kabob is rich in daughters and wives he is but a poor fire wood merchant who is continually fighting the red tape of the local tax collector who I will be introducing next week.  Anyway it should be fun and hope many people will be able to relate to the gags.

Splat!

In yesterday's cartoon, Tarzan's mother-in-law changed Tarzan's trusty side kick, Cheetah, from a studly
African Ape into an Studly African Bull Frog.  Cheetah is not a happy camper but one has to wonder if the female frogs will find him an exciting studly kind of Bull Frog?

If the dialog sound familiar, it is from William Shakespeare's Hamlet.  Just a wee little tweak and presto change-o.

Hocus Pocus!

A few days ago, Cheetah, Tarzan's trusted side kick made the mistake of pawing through Agnes, old Tarzan's mother-in-law's hair looking for some bugs to eat for lunch.  And this set up a grudge by Agnes with Cheetah.
I think I mentioned that Agnes is a witch with the Rocky Mountain Witches in the Mile High Coven number 5285.  Her rank is Exulted High Grand Poo-Mah.  It is a fine organization that has been in Denver for about 150 years, having been driven west by busy bodies who got tired of having their pet dogs turned into all sorts of exotic animals.
Anyway I guess the moral of this little sad tale is..Drum roll please....If you are hungry don't go pawing through your mother-in-law's hair looking for some bugs...for some odd reason the old girls don't like that.
Now the question remains, what is going to happen to Cheetah the now African Bull Frog.
Cheetah told me he had a hot date this week end with that hot number he met at Starbucks last week.  I doubt very much that she will fall for, "Kiss me and I will turn into your Prince Charming."  After all how many apes want to go out with some guy who thinks he is Prince Charming?

Won't she just go home?

Did I mention that Tarzan's mother-in-law is a witch?  I don't mean that as a slur on mother-in-laws but Jane's dear old mother belongs to a  Witch's Coven in Denver, Colorado.  It is called  the Rocky Mountain Witches ( Mile High Chapter #5285).  

Remember the two times the Denver Broncos won the Super Bowl?  That was their work on display.  

Be careful Tarzan old boy or you may end up a toad.

Tug-A-War

Tarzan, old boy, you are going to spoil the lad.

Good Boy!

As Cheetah is always telling Tarzan, "You are spoiling the boy!"   As I mentioned Arnold the Crocodile is named after my step-daughter's dog Arnold.  Arnold loves to chase a ball and other games dog love to play.
I guess most normal people would not think Tarzan would have a pet Croc that acts like a big old puppy dog but sorry to say, this is how my demented mind works. 
One of the coolest things about doing a comic strip is that the laws of nature and reality do do not apply and if you can imagine it you can make it happen at least on paper.  There are certain Cartoon laws that do apply and the following are some of those "Laws".
1.  Cartoon characters can survive anything including anvils falling on their heads and being shot in the face by a shot gun.
2.  A day in a cartoon character's life is approximately 1 year in human time.
3.  Cartoon characters can eat any thing and never need to sleep or eat and usually they will wear the same clothes day after day and never get them dirty.
4.  Animal cartoon characters can talk
5.  Human reality does not have to apply to a cartoon, if the creator or cartoonist can imagine it it can happen.
6.  The most important part of Cartooning when you are using permanent characters is:  The characters have to keep the same personality forever.  Lucy will always be a fuss budget, Opus will always be a walking butter ball and Calvin will always be a demented child who has an over active imagination.

Gordy's Big Day

Like most old guys, Gordy does not like to reminded of his birthday.  As he would put it, another day closer to pushing up daisies.  But today is good old Gordy's birthday so let's all raise a toast to Gordy and all the other grumpy old Gordy s around the world.

Arnold

I named Tarzan's little friend, the crocodile, Arnold after my step-daughter's 80 pound American Bull Dog Arnold.  Arnold the dog was in turn named after Arnold Schwarzenegger the actor. 
Like Arnold the dog, Arnold the Croc loves to play tug-a-war and wrestle with Tarzan.  Most of all Arnold just loves attention from Tarzan and gets a bit cranky when Tarzan tries to ignore him.

The show goes on

   

Reality Check

                      Should one discuss life issues with a talking Ape?

Num Num!

                                I guess Jane's mother, Agnes, is not used to being groomed. 

He is not good enough for my Jane!

Mother-in-laws have been the subject of many television sitcoms and movies.  The mother always thinks her daughter should have married up.  The idea that her son in law is still playing with monkeys and apes when he should be working for a living and thinking about his own retirement in a very few years is enough to keep Agnes, Jane's mother awake at night.
I wonder what she will think when she meets Tarzan's buddy Cheetah the talking ape?

Guess who is coming to visit?

Jane is still in the development stages just as Tarzan is.  She is based loosely off several wife characters I remember from my childhood like Wilma from the Flintstones and Samantha from Bewitched.  Imagine if Wilma was the daughter of a witch etc etc.  
Hey guys how would you like having a mother-in-law who was a witch..oh you already do.  Sorry about that.

Me Tarzan You Jane.

Ain't that nice Tarzan brought home some old childhood friends to meet Jane.  I hope they have good table manners.