Shake, shake that booty!

Gordy like lots of us old guys still thinks he still has the moves that drives the girls crazy.
These days the moves ain't much to speak of but it is still fun to get out there and shake the old booty.

Grand Kids

Anytime you want to be reminded how old you have gotten, baby sit your grand kids for the weekend.  It is really hard for me to remember having as much energy as a four year old.  To a two year old Everything is a toy and something to be put in their mouth. 
On the bright side it is always great to see the little ones when they come to visit.  A time to get out of your comfort bubble and connect with the little guys before they become the real life enemy of all adult ...The Know it all TEENAGER.

There is an Ap for that.

I can not draw a half eaten zebra for many reasons and that is why I am showing this dead zebra with the legs up in the air.
There is an old saying if you go on a trip or vacation and do not have any photos then it did not happen. I wonder these days what effect smart phones is having on camera sales and will we be the last generation to know what a camera is? 
I used to be a full fledged professional photographer, used all sorts of cameras from 35 mm all the way up to a 4X5 Graflex view cameras, like the ones you see in the old movies (really old movies).  Unlike the roll film cameras, a 4X5 view camera camera used sheet film and each negative was 4 inch by 5 inches. The viewer was the same place that the film cartridge went and each film cartridge held two sheet of film.  The thing weighed about 5 pounds and unlike the new digital cameras you did not waste very many shots.  Times have changed and now days if a person has a smart phone they also have a movie camera, a still camera, a music box, access to the internet and one day they may also serve you lunch.

New Jersey law.

It is now the law in New Jersey that all dogs and cats have to have a seat belt on when being transported in a car or truck. 
I wonder if any of the law makers who came up with this idea have ever tried to put a harness let alone a seat belt on a pussy cat with out being scratched from head to toe? 
One time I was taking my little cat "Tinker" ( he never did like that name) to the vet.  We put Tinker into a cardboard pet carrier and after driving for about two minutes Tinker had chewed his way out of the box and was actually running around the walls of the car. Hair was flying so thick it became hard to see and all the blood (mine). 
Any way if you are driving in New Jersey with your pet dog Muffy or your cat Godzilla......
                              LOTS OF LUCK WITH THAT.

Chapter 14 Well, she sure look Mexican.

Chapter 14

Well, she sure looks Mexican.

The Rayburn House Office Building

Basement meeting room 114-B2

Monday January 9, 2012

9am

Looking around the room over his reading glasses that sat perched on the edge of his nose; Donald Lipinski had the look of an old time stern country school teacher.  Congressmen Donald Lipinski was not a man of original thought.  He knew he looked like a younger version of Senator Carl Levin, with his balding plate and baggy eyes and figured that if the “Levin Look” worked for Senator Levin it should work for him.  Apparently the voters thought so as well since they had been voting for him in drove for the past twenty years.  Once Congressman Lipinski heard Senator Levin had bought a Chevy Volt electric car he ran out and purchased one as well.

Almost everyone was around the conference table and it seemed like everyone had piles of paper in front of them plans on how best to beef up House Bill 1542 No Bears Left Behind.   Donald Lipinski thought that his naming the bill No Bear Left Behind was a pure stroke of genius.  After his first meeting with that idiot, Leonard Badowski from the Department of Interior back on October 27, ²⁰¹¹, he could tell from that first meeting that Badowski was a man without a vision of the future.  Badowski actually thought that he could become famous and get promoted just because he had this silly idea that you could actually teach Brown Bears to work a smart phone or some other electronic gizmo if they got horny and wanted to hook up with some female bear who wanted some loving.  Shit if science could do that for bears someone would have already been selling them to college students.  Donald Lipinski could invision the sales pitch now: “For a good time, use our Smart phone! It will tell you wich women are hot and horney!” 

Since Donald Lipinski was happy in his position as a US Representative to Congress and the congressional sub-committee United States House Appropriations Subcommittee on Interior, Environment, and Related Agencies. Donald Lipinski would be quite happy to do his “Duty to his country” for a dollar per year.  He made far more from “endorsements, bribe, kick backs and speaking engagements than he ever did from his pitiful small pay check as a US Congressman.  If only the folks back home knew what really went on in the “HALLOWED HALLS OF CONGRESS.”

 “Shit fire! That cliche, HALLOWED HALLS OF CONGRESS,   is a joke all by its self, “thought US Congressman Donald Lipinski.   

Last year alone Donald Lipinski received $175,000.00 in pay as a US Congressman but at the same time received over $2 million in “Campaign Contributions” and another $1 million for speaking engagements.  His real pay though came from his sideline activities and that money came under the table, we wouldn’t want a paper trail for the good people back in Chicago to see what kind of money their good old boy Congressman really “earned”.  Donald Lipinski always felt he really did earn all the money he received under or over the table, after all he was serving his beloved country as a public servant and he was indeed a servant to the people.  The only thing was that the people he was a servant to was not the same people who voted and returned him to “Hallowed Halls of Congress”, every two years.

Looking around the conference table Congressman Donald Lipinski could see everyone was present and may as well get the show on the road.

“This meeting will now come to order”, barked Congressman Donald Lipinski. “My secretary, Monica Sanchez, will be taking notes. “

All eyes in the room fell on Ms Sanchez who was sitting cross legged next to her boss.   Monica had originally come from Tijuana, Mexico as a teenager and for the past ten years had been living a lie.  Her birth certificate was a lie; her Social Security card was a lie.  In reality Monica Sanchez’s real name was Dorri Raad (Iranian for Sparkling star) and had been trained from birth to pass her self off as Mexican, she had also been trained from birth to hate America and all things American.  To Monica (Dorri) coming into the United States as an illegal, obtaining the false documentation and finally achieving her final goal of working in Washington DC  as a secretary to a real United States Congressman was an achievement that reaped high praise from her real boss, the VEVAK (Vezarat-e Ettela'at va Amniyat-e Keshvar).  Back in her homeland, Dorri Raad was a hero and little girls sang praises to her in her home town of Borazjan, Iran.

“One day,” I shall be part of the glorious revolution and take down this putrid nation of infidel pigs and Allah will reign supreme when the flag of my homeland flies over the hated White House in this town of corruption.”

Monica Sanchez was indeed easy to look at and every man around the conference table wondered to himself, “How the hell did that dip stick Lipinski, rate such a great looking secretary?”  They also all wondered what it would be like to make her squeal in sexual delight and say, “Praise Jesus! “ as she rapped her long well toned legs around him and he exploded inside her.

If they only knew the truth of her lies they may have had different thoughts.

Monica’s mission was indeed long range: make her way across Mexico and infiltrate America as a Mexican teenager, enter college with fake documentation that showed she had been born in San Diego, California at Sharp Mary Birch Hospital, April 1, (Iranian Day of Independence) 1997.  The real Monica Sanchez had died at birth and her parents sold her birth certificate to some very nice men that year for a large sum of money.  Those very nice men worked for the VEVAK and had passed the document along with many more birth certificates to there boss in Tehran, Iran.  All of Monica’s co-workers knew that Monica’s parents had been killed many years ago and she had no family, they knew this because that is what Monica had told them.

After Monica (Dorri Raad) had graduated from UCLA with a 3.0 grade average, she applied for work as a management assistant with the Office of personal and had finally earned an appointment as a congressional aid for Donald Lipinski and had been his aid or secretary for the past two years.  

Monica (Dorri Raad) Sanchez was quite pleased with the work she did for Lipinski because each day provided her with more and more proof of the decadence of America.  If Congressman Donald Lipinski was considered an honorable man by American standards than in all of this country could one find a truly fine upstanding man that would please Allah?  No there was none and this was why America must perish!  

“Okay folks, lets get started with your suggestions of what to add to House Bill 1542, No Bears Left Behind."

 

Focus Focus Focus

The secret to great sales in retail marketing is Location Location Location.
In golf as in all sports it is Focus Focus Focus.
I used to run long distance races for fun. I even read lots of books about running and there must be  thousands of books on running.  I bet there are even books on Walking & even Breathing.  In most sports to be successful or at least be your best at whatever sport it is, it takes focus.
When you are running a long distance race like a marathon or ultra marathon you have to keep your focus during the entire event.  
If you ever get a chance to play golf in a place that has wild critters on the greens, like Gators in Florida, lions and zebras in Africa and elk in Estes Park Colorado, you have to ignore them if you want to make your putt.
At the same time, if you are up to your arm pits in Gators it is hard to remember that the reason you are where you are is to drain swamp.

Jungle Sounds

The sounds of the night in the African Jungle.  Maybe it is just a bunch of wild critters getting together for a nightly jazz gig or hootenanny. 
By the way check out the guitar that big old harry dude is playing, it really squeals.