Reflections

Words of wisdom from Con-Rodney

Con-Rodney used to be a God to his people but these days the people seem to worship their I-phones and smart phones more than any God.  I call him Con-Rodney because like Rodney Dangerfield, these days he gets no respect. 

Time to Party!

So long Grumpy Cat.

Mama's love

Getting ready for family reunions etc etc etc.

Bleeping Busy Bodies!

Tarzan's 80 year old mother-in-law Agness, who is a witch from Colorado, is coming for a Christmas visit with her new girl friend. 
When Nancy Pelosi said that Congress could not read the "Affordable Health Care" bill before Congress passed it, did not realize that buried deep inside the new health care taxation law was a provision to create the N A OW F S S.  Kind of makes one wonder what other goodies are buried deep in the bowls of the almost 2,000 page taxation law. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=hV-05TLiiLU

Cheetah is looking Goood!

Recently there was a little monkey running Amok in an IKEA wearing a little sheep skin coat.  I was sort of surprised not seeing any gags about monkeys wearing sheep skin coats so I figured why not do one my self.
I am also surprised that no one has come out with a stuff toy monkey wearing  this same sheep skin jacket.

Out Of The Closet....

Ah Christmas...A time for families to get together and exchange family news and stuff.  For some it is a time to come out of the closet etc etc. 
Not only is Tarzan's mother-in-law, Agnes a real life with from Colorado but now Tarzan and his wife Jane find out that Agnes is also in a relationship with another woman...This should be an interesting family get together sharing new life changes etc etc. 

Its starting to look like Christmas Vacation II

Let's see if I remember the plot of the Christmas Vacation.  Lots of family in one house, nothing goes right, and the Bumpus hound dogs from next door eat the family turkey....sorry that is from another movie.
Imagine a family Christmas week long get together in one house in the middle of Africa, and each family member is on  new diet or has joined a new religion or is on the verge of some kind of mental break down.  Now throw in a couple orphan baby elephants, talking wild animals, power going out, a raging civil war near by and then it starts to rain and rain and rain.  Actually that could make for a pretty funny movie but this is a humble hand drawn comic strip and I will see how far along the weirdness I can go in just two more weeks.
Did I mention that the two baby elephants I introduced yesterday Emma and her little brother Jack are now  orphans and in the care of Tarzan's wife Jane?  Jane has a problem, there is no little wild critter she can pass up and want to become their mother. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPKDb99JYeM&feature=fvst

New Babies!

Good news!  Today we gave birth to two new baby elephants Emma & Jack were born this morning while I was wrestling with a gag for today's comic strip.  Twin elephants and full of lots of energy and lots of trouble to get into in the coming months or years.
The fun thing about little kids is that everything seems like brand new to them and they can have so much fun with lots of imagination.  Emma is the oldest having been born about a few minutes before Jack and being the oldest she will see it her duty to keep her little brother in line.....lots of luck with that Emma.

He knows who has been naughty or nice.

The Christmas lights are up!

Trying to get into the "Christmas Spirit".  One has to wonder though how old Tarzan got Gordy the Rhino up on the roof of his house.

No Respect!

Just like Rodney Dangerfield, Con-Rodney gets not respect. Con-Rodney will be showing up from time to time to give his opinions and pontification about life and how times have changed.

Turn Signals

How embarrassing having someone remind you that your turn signal is on. 
As I get older I am sure my own wife wonders how it is I can drive all by my self with out her telling me my blinker is blinking .  If my son is riding shot gun, he is more than happy to remind to turn off the blinker and has been doing so since he was about 5 years old.
I can only imagine what it must be like driving around down in Florida the state where the medium age is 75 but I doubt very many of those old people are riding around on elephants.

AL KABOB IS BACK

A while back I did some cartoons with AL KABOB as the main character and in those cartoons AL was an average Muslim living in Egypt just trying to get along in a world that was changing far faster than he was able to grasp. 
The past week things have heated up between Israel, Egypt and the Gaza Strip and as Rodney King would say,"Why can't we all just get along?" Apparently does not apply to people who want to kill any one who does not belong to their particular religion.
The new Al Kabob is now in Gaza and is filled with rage and hate.  He longs to be a martyr but each time he almost gets the job done something ruins his day.  He also has a little warped idea of how the world is outside Gaza and only believes what his leaders tell him. 
I am having a little trouble with that hat or pillow he wears on his head but should get it down one day. 

Oh Poop!

Tarzan....how far you have fallen!

Lunch guest

How rude!!!  One little lunch crasher.

Exploring In Tall Grass

 Leo the mouse exploring.

GETTING INTO SHAPE

The first day of a new exercise program is always the worst day.  But it is always nice to have encouragement from your friends.

Hanging Around

One might say that this is an example of

 your food  playing with you.

Why Does He Cross The Road?

As you will notice if you have been following the exploits of Old Tarzan for any length of time that I have changed Old Tarzan once again. 
My concept here is that Tarzan is about 55-60 and as such should look the part.  He is no longer a spring chicken even though he think he is.  Funny how us old guys think we are still 25 years old until we look in the mirror and see all the saggy skin, grey hair and jowls.  Where the heck did the jowls come from and the turnkey waddle neck.
Tarzan is still married to his Jane and Agnes is still his mother in law and is still a witch.  Cheetah is still his trusty wise cracking side kick and all the other stuff is still the same.  I just aged the old guy over night to make him more age appropriate.
One other thing I have changed is that now Old Tarzan is a wild animal movie maker and makes his movies with little kids in mind.  Hope you enjoy these daily strips as much as I enjoy drawing them.

Splat.

Louie is not much of a talker, more of a doer than a talker.

Leo on the other hand has all sorts of big ideas but no one wants to hear about them.  It must be really frustrating for the little guy.

Leo meets Louie

Leo Pesky

In the movie Lethal Weapon is a character  Leo, played by Joe Pesci, a wise cracking know it all.  I got to thinking what if that Leo was a little mouse and presto Joe Pesky is born.  I love these kind of personalities in the movies and books but in real life they become a real pain in the back side. But a strong personality is what makes a great cartoon character. 
Bugs Bunny is far more entertaining than Mickey Mouse as is Daffy Duck than Porky Pig.  About the most memorable cartoon character from Disney over the years has been Donald Duck, though I still can not figure why Donald talks so weird but Daisy talks like a normal person.  But I digress.
Leo Pesky is all those irritating co-workers you have ever known, all those irritating brother-in-laws and mother-in-laws all rolled into one funny little fur ball.  Leo always has a new idea to become rich and famous like Kramer from the Jerry Seinfeld show. 
Look for him from time to time in the future years.

The Mummies

Old Wife's Tale

I guess the old wife's saying about Elephants being afraid of mice is just pure bunk.  BTW, Burt the mouse was not harmed in this gag and will be back from time to time.

King Ungawah

Old Tarzan has lost his election to be re-elected King of the Apes and Ungawah won.  Will things change for Tarzan and Jane along with Cheetah and Simba?

LOUIE

You may have wondered what happened to Louie after his short career with Budweiser, I moved him to Africa and now he will be staring part time on the week ends along with Percy, Cheetah, Simba, Arnold the Crocodile, and Gordy & Gerty.  
Because of Obama Care, I can not afford to have any full time cartoon characters and so they all will be working just part time. .

When lizards go bad

If you are a smoker and work for some big American Corporation this is probably how you feel when you go out for a smoke break.

Twilight Casting

Not only Twilight but Night of the Living Dead, Day After Night of the living Dead, Zombies From Mars, Zombies from Hollywood and all those people who sit in government offices like DMV and Social Security must be Zombies. 
The best part of using actual Zombies for the movies about Zombies is the cost, they bring their own clothes, makeup and you don't have to feed them they feed them selves on the rest of the cast.  It is a win-win situation.  At the same time Sherman Pain American Witch Doctor in Nayropee Kanya makes a few bucks.  I guess the down side would be the missing Nayropee citizens but you just tell their families that they got picked to play parts in upcoming Hollywood movies and slip them a couple bucks and everyone is happy.
Maybe we could start some Zombie jokes:
When do Zombies go to sleep?  Good question....When they are dead tired.

What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?A MOM-ster

 What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?A dead-ringer 

Where do most zombies live?

On dead-end streets

Got any more bad jokes?  Send them to Ed Schultz of MSNBC he is my all time favorite Zombie.

This should be good we will finally find out who wrote the book of Love. 
Sherman is indeed a former rapper form Philly PA USA, he was what we used to call a one hit wonder and then he simply disappeared.  Little did we know that the former rapper is now a big cheese witch doctor in Nayropee Kanya and has a large following on his local television station, that specializes in religious sermons and old time rock & roll as well as old American sitcoms like: The Jeffersons, Fresh Prince of Belle-air, Sanford and Son & Different Stokes.  He has thought of moving back to the States but here in Nayropee he is treated like a rock star and lives like a king. And here in Nayropee he isn't bombarted by continuous political advertisements.  All that plus his ex-wives all live in the States and as the song goes, "All my ex's live in Texas and that is why I live in Tennessee".

Endorsements

Along with Old Tarzan updating I have updated old Jane.  Above is the first pencil sketches I did of Jane for today's comic strip.
Please note Old Tarzan is still in Campaign mode for re-election to King of the Apes.  It is a non paying position but he does get to put the title on his business cards and we all know how valuable titles are on business cards.

  Old Chinese Saying, 

“Any Political Endorsement is better than

 no endorsement at all... unless it is for  they other guy.”

You get what you pay for.

Political volunteers are the back bone of any election.  That being said about the only thing volunteers get in return is self satisfaction and a nifty title.  Precinct captain means you drive the candidates around so they can walk door to door getting to know their constituents.  There is an old saying that goes, in a club or any kind of volunteer organization a Chairman is the person who puts out the chairs for the meeting and re stacks the chairs after the meeting is over. 

Debating 101

Would this be cool or what?  A real knock down and drag out political debate.  No more mister nice guy!  Name calling turning into an all out face punching nose pulling and eye gouging free for all.
I might even pay to go watch that..imagine pay per view Debate turns into a no hold barred rumble.  What would be really a fun thing is if the election hinged on a Mud wrestling caged match.  Hulk Hogan could be the referee and Nancy Pelosi could be the bikini clad bimbo who parades around inside the ring between rounds holding up the sign with the round numbers on it.  Charlie Rangle could be the bell ringer.  To make it really interesting have Ed Schultz and Bill O'reilly  as the back ups.

Mud slinging season.

Tarzan is up for re-election as King of the Apes...A banana in every pot and lots of leaves to chew on.  I am sure there will be lots of name calling and mud slinging etc.  Tomorrow we shall look at the debate between old Tarzan and the other candidate or as Tarzan calls him, the "old fat poop head".

Up close and personal

Anytime Cheetah can make fun of Tarzan the better.  Old Chinese saying, "If you are going to have a lizard bite your nose, it is more funny if someone can take a video of it and post it onto you tube."

The New Old Tarzan by Cricky.

When my kids were small we would watch almost every Crocodile Hunter TV shows.  I guess you might say this strip will be a tribute to one of the greatest educators of wild critters ever.  He was so funny and was such a positive example for our kids. 
Steve Irwin, where ever you are, this is your life if you had lived in Africa and had a talking ape for a side kick, a witch for a mother-in-law and had to deal with other talking and silly critters.

New clothes for Old Tarzan

Let's face the facts here, Tarzan is way too old to be still running around in a loin cloth.  Tomorrow Jane and Tarzan will be looking more like a modern couple who live in the jungle and spends all their time with wild critters including crocodiles and snakes.  If this sounds like someone else it is purely by chance...kinda sorta.
Cheetah will still be around giving his opinions of Tarzan's mistakes in life just like before.

Cliches

And there I was trying to come up with a gag involving getting stuck in traffic and thought to my self, that is such a tired old cliche.
The idea originated from the news of all the road closures during rush hour tomorrow (5-10pm) on several really heavy traffic areas around Denver.  All because certain people seem to think holding Presidential debates in Denver will be good for someone.  Not exactly sure how this will improve our life style, our business or over all goodness of life.  But like all things in life we will get through it and down the road next to the can we seem to be kicking we will look back on this and think to our selves," What a bunch of idiots we have running our country!"

Hanna!

Al-Kabob has a favorite daughter

 and as usual just as on the Bill Cosby show

 it is the youngest daughter, Hanna.

Greetings unto you old fat pig!

                              Have you ever walked into a room and forgotten why you were there?

The Fat Tax Collector.

This is just a really bad cliche "A fat tax collector" 

that most people won't realize that his name is a term that 

Arnold Schwarzenegger made famous. 

Just having some fun here folks. 

 If you can have fun drawing silly pictures 

and telling really dumb jokes

 why bother getting up in the morning?

See you all tomorrow.

I wonder if Harry Potter had this problem?

Don't you just hate it when your batteries go out at the wrong time?
Oh well I guess half an old Cheetah is better than a whole Bull Frog. 
Question of the day: where does a 800 pound African Bull Frog sit? Any where he wants to sit.
What do you call those black spots between Cheetahs toes these days?  Slow Lions.

I am sure Agnes has more batteries in her fanny pack to make things right.  Speaking of Agnes's fanny pack, next week we will do an in-depth look into that her fanny pack where she carries all her extra wands and magic do-dads etc etc.  If you think your wife has lots of stuff in her purse you ain't seen nothing yet.

Potty Break.

Have you ever noticed that some people 

will take photos of wild critters doing all sorts 

of natural nature things 

 from drinking water to dining out.  

Come on guys give them a break and a little privacy. 

 After all they ain't rich and famous 

like Pee Wee Herman or Kim Kardashian.

Just when Cheetah is thinking he is about to meet his maker, along comes Tarzan to the rescue.